Sunday, December 31, 2017

New Year New Me Bullsh*t?

I stopped writing my new year resolutions i think when i was in college because i realized that i didn't really do what i write lol. Some cases i didn't even try. And yeah until now i do still feel reluctant to write anything cos i feel like i'm gonna fail. But i think i figured out what was the problem that i failed to do those years of resolutions. I too focused (and ambitious) on the goals, without...

Thursday, December 28, 2017

The Balance

Between still making the money needed to make life worth living, minimizing the guilt of not being able to do my work well, and not to burden my parents too much. Hope i can find it so...

The switch

Hope i can find the switch to turn off my emotions, because i have too much of it. And it's tiring. And it's taking away my sleep. And lead me to another satan's circle.And it's making me ugly. I can't get rid of these dark circles if i keep on crying...

Useless

Trying to play it safe while trying to escape the pain, trying not to slip and fall again. Maybe the best way is to do nothing. But then i feel useless, and why i should live then?I can't end it myself but sometimes still hope that i can just disappear from this world, and from everyone memori...

Lost

PMDD It's like keep switching personalities every two weeks, both convincing, both feels like the real me, and it's confusing. After 3 years, everything starts to make sense, and maybe i'm not the negative & pessimistic i thought i was. Still figuring out which one is me and which one is the dem...