Don't you?

You thought you held my hand and pulling me up so i wouldn't fall, but what you did were just waving your hand from up there and telling me to go up since you'll be waiting, up there.  But when you realized i already fell too deep ,you thought you still can pull me up, but it's just too late. 

I know i'm bad for hoping you to fall together with me, but it was really lonely to fall alone. But don't you feel lonely too standing up there alone? 

I don't know what you see up there but life is like a wheel, there will be time when you go up, and go down. 

Now you're trying your best to stand up there held your head up. But you know what? When you go down and fall, i may not be there for you either, just so you can understand my misery. 

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Stuck in The Past

There's always a time, once a month, that i just can't help but thinking about the past. i'm stuck in it. i'm thinking
about the people, the things i wanna say to them, the unspoken words of gratitude, the worries for some friends that happened to be having the similar situation. But then the fear, the trauma, all of them mixed in one moment, as i tried to make sense of all that happened, even though it's not supposed to be questioned. another sleepless night. the worries about the future, as i'm stuck between two worlds. do i have the patient to wait? or do i have the courage & strength to overcome my fear and go back there? do i just have to let it go? the person i can't imagine of letting go... how should i deal with all these, really? that's what i thought, the thoughts that i shouldn't be thinking. that i should just live, and let it flow. but it keeps repeating its selves, on another sleepless night, 12 times a year, and i still don't know how to overcome it, i still don't know how to stop thinking, i don't even know why the thoughts keep going back haunting me. but as they all said, if you failed, try again. so that's just what i'm gonna do, try again and again, even if i always failed every time, even if i haven't suceeded even once, just because there's nothing left i could do. just live. and try again.

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Fall

The higher you fly, the deeper you can fall

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Expectation Kills

da hell! good thing sure happens when you least expect it. I'm completely blown away! And genuinely really happy :) My wish for this year is to keep my expectation as low as the ground lol

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Overthink

Overthink is like a habit for me. Even though people say it's a waste of time, sometimes i just can't help it. I just unconciously do it. 

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Fake?

I've realized that in Japan, people have to be two-faced in order to survive the society. Well, not only there but maybe in some region in my country as well. I was way too naive, and brutally honest person.

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About This Blog

Hi! I'm Dina if you haven't already knew. I'm a rookie food blogger. I decided to create another blog, and it's gonna be a really personal blog. What i'm gonna be writing will mostly be my random thoughts, of life hahaa.. Or just random story of my everyday ordinary life. It's not going to be a really useful or funny blogpost, since i'm not a funny person at the first place. 

I kinda use this blog to write about what i feel and what i think about a certain issue, unfiltered, since sometimes i can't talk about it to my friends & family because it's too random, or i just didn't have the time to. So, yes sometimes it's gonna be pretty serious and heavy, and maybe negative, coz i'm certainly not a super positive person. But i do like to feel positive, i just can't force myself to be positive when i'm down.  Feel free to read, but also feel free to close the tab if you find it's too disturbing or depressing or just too freakin random. lol

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